Family Therapy
by Dulcineah
Summary: Frasier gets a visit from his past, and the surprise of his life.


Family Therapy

By Dulcey

Part One--Frasier

I love to sing when I have the apartment to myself. Put in a CD, turn up the volume, and I'll happily follow along at the top of my voice. I can't do this when Dad is around. I'm not shy, but I'm not too thrilled about belting out arias in front of him while Eddie stares at me and howls.

But today, Dad was out with Duke, and the apartment was all mine. Daphne had moved out several years ago, when she and Niles got together. They're married now, and living at the Montana. I see them regularly, although they've been rather busy since little Billy was born.

I hummed to myself as I flipped through my CD's. After rummaging around for a moment, I found what I was looking for: _Carmen_.

__

L'amour est un oiseau rebelle…

I sang along happily, my voice drowning out the diva's. In a few hours, Julie and I would be at the theatre, seeing this very opera. We had been together for two months, and I was crazy about her. She was the one, I could feel it. In fact, if it was all right with Dad, I was going to ask her to move in with me, and eventually, to become Mrs. Julie Crane.

__

L'amour est un enfant de boheme

Il n'a jamais jamais connu de loi,

Si tu ne m'aimes, mais si je t'aime,

Mais si je t'aime, prends-guards a toi!

Things were a little rocky between Dad and me when Daphne moved out, but after we'd adjusted to her absence, things got a lot better and we got a lot closer. We still don't see eye-to-eye over the little things, but we have a stronger relationship now than ever before.

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts and my singing. I quickly shut off the stereo and opened the door, hoping that it was Julie, early for our date.

"Oh my God!" I yelled. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Thank you for the warm welcome," my ex-wife replied dryly. "Can I come in?"

I nodded silently, muted by shock. Lilith sat down on the couch and looked over at me. 

"Frasier, there's something I need to tell you," she began. "Do you remember what happened three months ago, when you came to visit Frederick?"

How could I forget? Neither of us had meant it to happen. We'd stayed up too late, had a few too many, and woke up in bed the next morning. Afterwards we had talked about it, of course, and decided to put it behind us. Why was she bringing it up now?

"Frasier." Lilith's voice cut into my thoughts. "This is very important." She took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. "Frasier, I'm pregnant."

I was too stunned to think about what I was saying. "What???" I yelled. "How could you do this to me?"

"So this is my fault?" she shot back at me. "You seemed eager enough three months ago!"

"You don't understand! I have a girlfriend! I love my girlfriend, and I'm not going to let our relationship be destroyed by you and your little problem!"

I regretted the words the instant they left my mouth. They were cold and selfish, not to mention cruel. Lilith had turned her back, and I thought that she was angry with me. She had every right to be, after what I had said. I sat down next to her, and realized that she was crying.

"Lilith, I'm sorry," I said gently, putting an arm around her. "That was very selfish of me."

She turned to me, her gray eyes full of tears. "Frasier, I'm scared," she whispered. "What am I going to do?"

I wanted to do something for her, to make up for my hateful words. "Listen, why don't you stay here for awhile, until the baby is born? You can sleep in Daphne's old room, and I'll set up a cot in my room for Frederick. Speaking of Freddie, is he here as well?"

Lilith shook her head. "He's back in Boston, with some neighbors."

"I'll call the airlines and book him on the next flight to Seattle." I got up and picked up the phone. 

"What about school?" Lilith asked. "He can't miss the next six months."

"He can go to my old prep school," I assured her. "It's the best private academy in Washington, and I'm sure they'd love to have Frasier Crane's son."

"What about…" She broke off. "What about your girlfriend?"

This was the tricky part. I had no idea how Julie would react to this situation. "She's a very caring person. I'm sure she'll understand."

I crossed my fingers behind my back and hoped I was right.

Part Two--Lilith

I had unpacked my few belongings ages ago. My makeup was sitting on the table by the bed, along with my notebook from work and the copy of _Rebecca_ a friend had given me a few weeks ago. The two changes of clothes I had brought along were hanging in the closet, but other than that, nothing in the room was mine. The walls were white and blank, and I made a note to myself to see about getting some pictures or paintings within the next few days.

What a pathetic contrast this was to the last time I was pregnant. Frasier and I were together then. More than together. In love. I had his love and support, and Frederick was something to look forward to. I remember Frasier's reaction the night I told him I was expecting. He shouted "I'm going to be a daddy!" to the entire restaurant, and was so happy he didn't care that everyone was staring at our table. 

And now we're expecting our second child. Correction, I'm expecting my second child. Frasier is the father again, but I know he wishes he wasn't. This baby is just like me--an unwanted burden and an obstacle in his new life.

It's ironic, because I always wanted more children. I never told Frasier this, but I wanted a daughter after Freddie was born. I knew that Frasier would have loved her, would have called her "princess" and sent her a dozen roses after her first-grade play. But everything is different now. I'll have the baby, take it back to Boston with me, and Frasier will probably never think about it again.

Frasier and his father were arguing in the living room. I tried not to listen, but bits of arguments kept floating down the hall.

"Dad, you could be supportive here," Frasier argued. "Lilith's in a very difficult situation, and frankly, so am I!"

"I'm sorry about that, I really am," Martin retorted. "But I refuse to live under the same roof with Frosty the Snow Queen!"

I took my wallet out of my purse and flipped through my pictures of Frederick. There was one of him as a little boy sitting on the beach at Cape Cod, and some photos from our Christmas in Austria and the archaeological tour we took a few years ago. And my favorite: a snapshot of Frasier, Frederick, and me that Sam Malone took of us when Freddie was two weeks old. I know that it's over between Frasier and me, and I threw out or packed up most pictures of him after the divorce. But I kept this one, as a reminder of the happiest time of my life.

"Dad, won't you please give this a fair try?" Frasier was begging. "Once you get used to it, it'll be fine!"

"Forget it, Frasier!" Martin yelled. "I'm moving in with Niles and Daphne, and I'm doing it tonight!"

I could tell Frasier was getting upset. He had already had to cancel his date with Julie, and fighting with his father wouldn't make things better.

"Fine, be that way!" he shouted at Martin. "It's obvious that you can't show the littlest bit of compassion to Lilith, who, may I add, happens to be having one of your grandchildren!"

"How do I know that?" Martin shot back. "Come on, Eddie, let's go."

I took several deep breaths, trying to hold back the tears. I had always known that Martin didn't like me, but I never imagined that he felt that way. The baby was Frasier's--there hadn't been anyone else in a long time. Martin's words tore through me. It was one thing when he called me cold or frosty, but this was so much worse.

This was a mistake. I should never have come to Seattle. All I was doing was interfering with Frasier's life. He didn't want me here.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I called, struggling to compose myself. 

Frasier opened the door. "Lilith? Can we talk?"

I nodded, and he came over and sat by me on the bed. "Frederick's plane will be here in another hour. Did you want to come with me to the airport?"

I shook my head. "You go, Frasier. I'm tired, and I'd rather stay here."

He nodded, and an uneasy look came into his eyes. "Er, Dad's going on a trip with his friend Duke, so I thought Freddie could sleep in his room."

"Don't lie to me, Frasier. I heard the two of you arguing, and I know he's moving out because of me."

Frasier sighed. "I'm sorry, Lilith. I wish you didn't have to hear that."

"Would you rather that I went back to Boston?" I asked. "All I seem to be doing is causing trouble, and I won't stay if you don't want me to."

Frasier took me by the shoulders. "Lilith, I wouldn't have asked you to stay if I didn't want you to. I can see you're vulnerable and upset, and I'm not about to let you go through this on your own. You're the mother of my child, of my children, and I won't abandon you."

He took me in his arms, and I rested my head on his chest, trying to ignore the excited, fluttering feeling in my stomach. He was being brotherly, that's all. Comforting me as a friend.

That was all I could ever hope for, and for some reason, I felt desperately sad and alone. 

Part Three--Frederick

This has been a weird day. At breakfast this morning, Mom told me she had to go out of town for a few days, and I would be staying with the neighbors while she was gone. She didn't tell me where she was going or what she was doing. All she said was that she had to meet with a colleague about their collaboration. Whatever that meant.

I went to school, and came back to the Kelly's to find that my dad had called. I was supposed to pack my things and catch the evening flight to Seattle. I felt sick when I heard that. Had something happened to my mom? Did her plane crash? What was going on?

Mrs. Kelly was nice and let me call my dad. He answered on the second ring and told me not to worry, that my mom was fine and with him at that very moment. I started to ask him what was going on, but then Mom got on the phone. She said that there was something important to talk about, and she and Dad would tell me when I got to Seattle.

The flight seemed to take forever. Well, it was a six hour flight, but it still seemed longer than usual. Dad was waiting for me when I got off the plane.

"Frederick!" he exclaimed, holding out his arms and giving me a hug. "How was your flight?"

"Hi, Dad," I replied. "What's going on? Where's Mom?"

"She's back at my place," Dad replied. "We'll talk about it when we get back, OK?"

We got my suitcase at the baggage claim, and drove back to Dad's apartment. Dad talked absently about his dinner with Uncle Niles and Aunt Daphne last week. I didn't say much. I was tired, from the flight and from this weird day in general.

Mom opened the door when we got back to Dad's apartment. She looked OK, but she seemed worried about something. It must be something big, if Mom and I are all the way across the country and in Seattle.

"Freddie, you'll be staying in your grandfather's room," Dad told me. "I'll go put your suitcase in there."

"Why am I staying in Grandpa's room?" I asked Mom. "Isn't he here?"

Mom looked uncomfortable. "Frederick, darling, maybe we should let your father answer that."

There was something very strange going on. I didn't know what, but I had a feeling it was something huge.

Dad came back, and he and Mom sat down on the couch on either side of me. They exchanged an uncomfortable glance. Dad sighed. "I'll start.

"Frederick, when I came to visit you three months ago, I hadn't had any romantic interests in my life for some time," he began. "Because of this, I had begun to feel that I was an unattractive and unworthwhile person."

"I also had not been romantically involved for quite awhile," Mom added. "This was rather distressing to me, and when your father came to town, I reverted back to a learned response that I thought had been extinguished long ago. Five years of being together had conditioned me to come to him for comfort whenever I felt sad or lonely, and this response was revived when your father came to Boston."

"You see, Frederick," Dad explained, "your mother and I are both controlled by powerful superegos, which can be very difficult to live with. As a result, we both abandoned our neurotic anxieties one night and gave in to the pleasures of the id."

I looked from one parent to the other. "You slept together?" I asked. "But you don't love each other anymore!" 

Mom looked pained. "Your father and I both regretted it afterwards. We talked it over as mature adults, and decided that we wouldn't let it happen again."

"Is this why I'm here?" I asked. "I can't believe I had to come all the way out to Seattle just to hear this!"

"Actually, Frederick, there's more," Dad said quietly. "Lilith, you tell him."

Mom shot Dad a dirty look and took my hand. "Frederick, I'm going to have a baby. You're going to be a big brother."

I heard what she said, but the words refused to sink in. "So what's happening?" I asked absently. "Are you getting back together?"

Dad looked uncomfortable. "Well, not exactly. Your mother and I have talked this over, and we've decided that the three of us will live here until the baby is born. After that, you and your mother will return to Boston with the baby. I will be providing financial support, of course."

"You're walking out again, aren't you?" I yelled. "It's not enough that you left me without a father. Now you're abandoning a baby that hasn't even been born yet?"

"Frederick, please," Dad pleaded. He put a hand on my arm, but I jerked away angrily. 

"How could you do this to Mom?" I shouted at him. "You have your fun and then you leave her alone to deal with what happens? I hate you, Dad! I hate both of you!"

I ran into Grandpa's room and slammed the door behind me. Bear, the teddy bear I'd had since I was born was staring up at me from my opened suitcase. I clutched him to my chest, fell on the bed, and let the tears escape.

Part Four--Frasier, Frederick, Lilith

  1. Frasier

I sat dumbly on the couch, hearing my son's words echo through my head. _I hate you Dad…_ My sweet little boy had just said he hated me! My heart was breaking. How could this have turned out so wrong?

Lilith put her hand over mine, and I grabbed it, thankful for some comfort. "He's just upset, Frasier," she assured me. "I'll go talk to him."

She got up and headed down the hall, leaving me alone to reflect on this very strange day I had had. 

After awhile, I got up and went back to my room. Passing by Dad's door, I heard the muffled voices of Lilith and Frederick. That was going to take some getting used to: not having Dad here anymore. I had complained a lot about living with my father, his beer and Eddie, and especially that godawful chair. But now that he was gone, I missed him. I would miss those late night talks when both of us would wander out to the living room, unable to sleep. And those evenings, watching "The Antiques Road Show" together, and even Eddie shedding on the couch. Most of all, I would miss being the son. Feeling like a kid who knows his dad will always take care of him.

Tomorrow I would have to explain the situation to Julie. I had no idea how she would react. It would be a shock, finding out that her boyfriend's ex-wife was moving in with him, and was expecting his child. When I put it that way, it doesn't sound good at all. And after the fiasco with Frederick this evening, I know I need to work on my explanations. 

But that all comes tomorrow. I won't worry about anything tonight. I took out a clean pair of pajamas, and put them on, enjoying the feeling of the material against my skin. I'd forgotten how the simple pleasures could make me feel better. My son hates me, my ex-wife's expecting my child, I'm about to lose the most promising relationship I've had in years, but at least I have clean pajamas.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I called.

The door opened, and Lilith slipped timidly into the room. "Frederick will be all right," she said quietly. "He just needs some time to get used to this."

I nodded. "Thanks, Lilith."

"Frasier, I was wondering…" She looked uncomfortable. "I didn't bring any clothes from Boston, and I don't have--"

"Of course, Lilith," I interrupted. I opened a drawer and tossed her a shirt. "Will that do?"

She smiled at me. "Thanks, Frasier."

I went over and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Lilith."

"Goodnight, Frasier." She slipped out of the room, and I was left alone again.

  2. Frederick

I had almost finished crying when there was a knock on the door. "Frederick? May I come in?"

I mumbled something that must have sounded like "yes" because Mom came in and sat down beside me on the bed. "Frederick, I'm sorry. This can't be easy for you."

"I'll be alright, Mom," I lied. "What are you going to do?"

She squeezed my shoulder. "I don't know. But we'll make it work."

"I hate Dad," I said quietly. "He doesn't care about us at all. He doesn't want anything to screw up his perfect new life."

Mom sighed. "Frederick, your father does love you. He needs time to get used to this, just like you do. But for the meantime, we're all living here. Give it a chance."

There was a pleading note in her voice. I tried to smile. "I promise I'll try, Mom."

My words seemed to make her happier. "That's my boy." She kissed my forehead and stood up to leave. "Now get some sleep. I think we all need a good night's rest after today."

She left, and I was alone again. I changed into my pajamas, turned out the lamp, and crawled under the covers. Even though I was exhausted, I couldn't sleep. I stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. My parents were having another baby. I was going to be a big brother.

When I was younger, I wanted that more than anything. Now, it's just weird. My parents have been divorced for a long time, I don't see my dad too much, and now they're having a baby? I don't get it.

I wish I hadn't told my dad I hated him, because I don't. I hate that he's not around, but I guess that's not his fault. I wonder if he still loves Mom. She'll never admit it, but I know she still cares for him. I can't tell with Dad, but I think he might still love her as well.

Sometimes I wish they would get back together. That Thanksgiving when I set them up, I was mostly trying for a minibike. But when I came into the living room and saw them holding hands, and telling me that they were getting remarried, I was happy about it. I really, truly was.

  3. Lilith

I shut the door behind me. My fingers brushed the spot where Frasier had kissed me, and my heart beat faster. Stop it, I told myself. You blew it ages ago. He doesn't love you anymore.

Back in my room, I stripped off my travelling clothes and put on Frasier's shirt. It was huge, and came down to my knees. It smelled faintly of Frasier's cologne, and if I closed my eyes, I could imagine that we were still married.

I was going to have a baby. That realization had been bouncing around my head every since my gynecologist told me the news yesterday. I had thought about it with disbelief, and anger and despair. This wasn't the first time I had realized I would be a mother again, but I hadn't been able to be happy about it before now. 

I could do this. I had raised Frederick almost entirely on my own, and he had grown up to be a fine young man. I could count on him to help with the baby. Even Frasier would help out when he came to Boston.

Maybe the baby would look like Frasier, with his dark blond hair and piercing blue eyes. I hoped it would. I had lost him, but if I had his children with me, he would never be completely gone.

I shook my head, ashamed of myself for being such a romantic fool. Long ago I had taught myself to live by my head instead of my heart. It saved so much trouble and heartache in the long run. If I'd listened to my head three months ago, I wouldn't be in this mess now.

I turned off the lights and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my shoulders. There was so much I had to do tomorrow…enroll Frederick at Brice Academy…get some of my things sent from Boston…go shopping for (I shuddered), maternity clothes. I couldn't help wishing that things had been different, that Frasier was asleep beside me instead of down the hall. If only things had worked out between us, if we could be excited about this baby...

At last my mind went blank and I slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Part Five--Frasier

Despite my exhaustion the night before, I was unable to sleep soundly. I would worry about these recent developments in my life, drop off and doze for a few hours, and wake up to start the cycle over again. At eight o'clock, I was no less tired than I had been last night, but I was tired of tossing and turning.

I put on my bathrobe and went out to the living room. There was no sign of Lilith or Frederick, so I assumed they had had better luck with the slumber gods than I had. It felt strange not to have Dad and Eddie out here. I wondered how they were doing. Niles would probably be over today, wanting to know what the hell I was thinking. I didn't look forward to it.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Niles didn't waste any time, did he? I opened the door, and an exuberant Julie flung herself into my arms.

"Hi, darling," she murmered after kissing me several times. "I thought we could call in sick today and make up for last night. Sound good?"

"Oh, baby," I growled. "I'd love to, but first there's something--"

"Morning, Dad!" Frederick called, lumbering out into the living room rubbing his eyes. He glanced at Julie, and looked away. "Where's the cereal?"

'Um, in the cupboard on the far right," I replied.

Julie was looking at me curiously. "I didn't know your son was visiting. Is he on vacation?"

"Well, not exactly." I motioned to the couch. "There's something I need to explain." She sat down and looked at me, her eyes full of questions. "Freddie and his mother are moving in with me. You see, Lilith is pregnant again, and I'm the father."

Julie looked like she'd been struck. "When did this happen?"

"Three months ago. Before we met. Oh, Julie, it's not like that. Lilith and I are sleeping in separate bedrooms. It's all over between us, believe me."

"If it's over, then why is she living with you now?" She shot me a glare, filled with anger and hurt. "I'm sorry, Frasier, but I won't settle for being second best."

She grabbed her purse and stalked out of the apartment. I followed behind, pleading with her.

"Julie, please, I love you," I begged. "You were never second. Lilith means nothing to me, not anymore."

"Why is she living with you?" Julie insisted. "Give me one good reason."

"Because she's expecting my child," I replied. "I don't love her anymore, but I can't desert the mother of my children."

Julie appeared to soften a little. "I understand that, and I trust you, Frasier. If you say that it's over, then I'll believe you."

I smiled with relief and happiness. "Have you had breakfast yet? I know a restaurant down the street that has a delightful buffet."

She shook her head. "Sounds great. I'm starving!"

"Just let me get my coat." I stepped back inside. Julie followed me through the door, then stopped abruptly.

"Frasier, I was just going to make breakfast for Frederick and me. Did you want some too?" Lilith asked. She was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing the shirt I had lent her the night before. Her hair was down, and disheveled from sleep. Frederick was sitting at the table in his pajamas. It was the perfect domestic picture, spoiled only when my girlfriend whacked me in the head with her purse.

"I don't believe it!" Julie screamed. "You lied to me! You said it was over!"

"It is over," I insisted. "Julie, please--"

"You bastard!" she yelled, smacking me again. "Don't you ever speak to me again!" She stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

I stood frozen, not believing what had just happened. Lilith and Frederick were watching me. "Frederick, go to your room," I snapped.

He gave me a fearful glance and crept down the hall. I waited a few seconds, and then allowed myself to explode. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled at Lilith. "Do you realize what you've done? Coming out here dressed like that? What's wrong with you? Why do you have to ruin my every chance at happiness?"

"How is this my fault?" Lilith retorted. "I'm sorry your girlfriend left you. I really am. But it's not my fault, so stop blaming me! I didn't mean for this to happen!"

"That doesn't matter, does it?" I yelled back. "She wouldn't have left if it wasn't for you!"

Lilith was getting really upset. "What do you want from me?" she screamed. "You say you want me to stay, and then you yell at me like you want me to go home. Frasier, I can't deal with this!"

She spun around and ran down the hall into her room. The door slammed behind her. I hesitated a moment, then followed her.

The door was locked. "Lilith? Can I come in?" Silence. "I'm sorry, Lilith. I was upset about Julie, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that, and I apologize."

Still nothing. She must be really upset. There had to be some way I could cheer her up. "Lilith, I want you to stay. I think it's the best thing for all of us right now. Please? Moon-pie? Angel-face?"

The door slowly opened, and Lilith came out, a wistful look on her face. "I always loved those nicknames," she said softly.

"Me too." We stood in silence, looking into each other's eyes. I was about to do something I would regret…

The tranquility of the moment was shattered by a loud growl from my stomach. I grinned at her in embarrassment. "Hungry?"

"Starving. You know, that invitation to breakfast is still good.."

"Only if you let me help. I know what your eggs can do to the digestive tract."

We bickered good-naturedly down the hall, and for a moment, it felt like old times.

Part Six--Frederick

Dear Jason,

Hey! What's new in Boston? How's everyone? I would have written sooner, but it's been rather weird out here. Not to mention all the homework! Remember how we said that no one could possibly give more homework than Mr. Tanner? Well, there's one person who has him beat, and I have her for history. In the last three months, I've learned more about American history than I ever wanted to know. It almost makes me wish I lived in Antarctica. 

But seriously, Brice Academy is OK. My dad went there when he was my age, and I think I've got all his teachers. They are old, give tons of homework, and talk nonstop about how much I look like my dad. The choir teacher, Miss Warner, sent a note to my parents about the possibility of her giving me piano lessons, but Dad said NO WAY!!

We had an argument about that. My dad and I haven't been getting along too well lately. He's always telling me what to do, and grounding me for little things like not keeping my room clean enough for his standards. I won't argue with him if my mom's around, but if she's not--oh, boy. The thing is, my dad's trying to act all paternal, probably to practice when the baby comes, but he doesn't know how to be a real father. He and Mom separated when I was three, and a year later they divorced and my dad moved across the country. I saw him a couple times a year, but that wasn't the same as having him around. He doesn't know how to be a real parent, but he thinks he does. I've tried telling him this, but all that happens is that he ends up grounding me for talking back.

My mom's doing pretty well. She got a job doing research at the University of Washington, and she likes it a lot. She likes to bring her rats home with her. Last night, she lost one, and it ended up in my dad's bed. The rat had chewed a hole in his pillow, and was curled up in there when my dad went to bed. I was in my room, reading a story for my English class, when I heard this yell and my dad comes running out of his room with this fuzzy white thing hanging from his ear. It was squeaking and my dad was shouting and then my mom came out of her room to see what was going on, and started yelling at him not to hurt her rat.

Finally Dad stopped jumping around, and the rat let go of his ear and ran down his shirt. There was more yelling and dancing on Dad's part, and a lot of laughing on mine until Mom finally caught the rat. She and Dad stood staring at each other for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

And you know what was weird about that? I wouldn't be able to tell you this if you weren't my best friend, but it felt like my parents and I were a real family, like we used to be. It felt good, but also sad, because we're not one big happy family, and I don't know if we ever will be again.

My mom has become friends with my Aunt Daphne--I know I've told you about her!--and my dad's producer Roz. They go shopping together, and do lots of other girly stuff like watch boring movies with Brad Pitt in them. It's rather amusing, because I've never seen my mom act like this before. Maybe it's because she's pregnant. She told me once that when she was pregnant with me, she and Dad decided to sell their house, give up their practices, and go live in the woods. They lasted a grand total of half an hour before driving back to Boston, but it's funny to think about my mom acting like that. Or like she is now, for that matter. She seems like she's having fun, but it's just too weird for me. Whenever Roz and Daphne come over, I usually stay a few minutes (Mom's rule, she says it's good manners) and then go over to Uncle Niles'. 

I've been spending a lot of time over there lately. My uncle helps me with my homework, or we'll go to a museum, or sometimes we just sit and talk. I tell him about when I fight with my dad, and how I miss Boston sometimes, and how strange it is to think that I'll have a brother or sister in a few months. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Before everything happened, I used to talk to my mom about whatever was bothering me. I still could, I suppose, but she already has a lot to do, with her job and getting ready for the baby. 

Did I ever tell you that my aunt and uncle had a baby last year? They named him William Martin Crane, after Daphne's brother and my grandpa. We call him Billy and he's awfully cute. I babysit for him every Saturday night, while my aunt and uncle go to dinner or the opera. They pay me five dollars an hour, plus I can eat anything that's in the fridge. I enjoy it. Billy's a great kid, and I've learned a lot about babies. I've learned how to feed him, and change his diapers, so I'll be able to help Mom after the baby's born and we go back to Boston.

It's strange, seeing my grandpa at Uncle Niles' all the time. He lived with my dad for years, but moved in with my aunt and uncle when my mom and I came to Seattle. Grandpa says that he moved so things wouldn't be too crowded at my dad's, but I don't believe him. I think he left because he doesn't like my mom. He's never been very friendly to her, and I've overheard him making sarcastic comments about her a few times. I wonder why he doesn't like her. My mom's a really nice person. Can't he see that?

In spite of that awkward situation, my grandpa and I get along fine. I really like being able to see him more than once a year. He took me to a Mariners game last week, which was very boring, but I pretended that I liked it. Grandpa was happy, because my dad and Uncle Niles would never go to a game with him when they were kids.

My dad just knocked on my door and told me to go to bed because I have school tomorrow. It's an hour before my normal bedtime, but I don't feel like arguing tonight. I'll be the good son, and turn off the lights, and then get out my flashlight and read under the covers like I always do.

Say hi to the chess club for me, and write back soon!

Your friend,

Frederick

Part Seven--Lilith

"What do you think about this one?" Daphne held up a long, white dress with tiny rosebuds scattered on it. "I had a dress like this when I was pregnant with Billy. I think it's charming."

It would be charming on Daphne, that I knew, but I wasn't certain it would work for me. "Daphne, I'm not sure--"  
"Hey, Lilith!" Roz interrupted, bursting onto the scene with yet another dress. "Try this one! It would look great on you!"

"Roz, I don't think this is a maternity dress," I commented. It was way too short, even for me, and the slit on the side revealed even more. It would have been perfect for a night out on the town, but not for the dinner party my supervisor had invited me to.

"Oh, come on," Roz urged. "It would look so good on you. There's no rule that says you can't be pregnant and sexy at the same time."

"But I don't want to look sexy," I protested. "I am mother, giver of life, a fertile ground from which the future will grow!"

Several shoppers had turned around to stare at me. Daphne's cheeks were flushed, and Roz had begun to flip through another rack of clothes. Let them be embarrassed. I was not ashamed to be pregnant, to be cradling a new life within me. No, I was proud, and no amount of ignorant stares could make me feel otherwise.

Daphne hung the rosebud dress back up and faced Roz and me. "Lilith, I think we'd better be going. I don't think Freddy wants to be stuck babysitting for Billy all afternoon. We can come back this weekend, or you can borrow one of my dresses."

"Thank you for the noble attempt to spare my feelings," I replied, "but I know your true purpose is to keep me from embarrassing myself and the two of you in front of a store full of strangers. Am I not right?"

"Oh, Lilith, it's not like that," Roz protested. "It's just that, well, I'm not sure that everyone wants to listen to the joys of swollen ankles and back cramps."

We debated the issue of pregnancy all the way back to Frasier's. Roz insisted that pregnancy just made you fat and moody, while I countered that it was a small price to pay for the wonder of giving life. 

"Tell me, Roz," I said to her after the three of us had returned to Frasier's and collapsed on the sofa, "When you held Alice in your arms for the first time, didn't you feel like the whole ordeal had been worth it?"

"Yes, I did," Roz admitted. "It was so awe-inspiring."

"Magical," Daphne added.

"Humbling," I put in. "You've created this tiny little creature…"

"Who's so helpless," Daphne commented.

"And innocent," Roz remarked wistfully. "You feel like the stream, which will nourish the seed within you."

"A giver of life," I added. 

"A fertile ground." That was Daphne.

"Good Lord, you can see the estrogen steaming from under the door!" Frasier exclaimed, coming in and shutting the door behind him. "Lilith, what have you done to Roz and Daphne?"

"What do you mean?" Daphne asked. "She hasn't done anything. We were just talking."

"It's like when you were pregnant with Frederick. First it was this fountain of life mumbo-jumbo, then it was forsaking anything made or done by others, and the next thing you knew, we were up at some cabin in the middle of nowhere with me banging rocks together to start a fire!"

Roz snickered. "You? Roughing it? I'll bet that lasted all of ten minutes."

Frasier looked hurt. "Roz, give me a little more credit than that."

"He's right, Roz," I added. "We lasted half an hour."

Roz and Daphne burst out laughing, and I joined in a few moments later. Even Frasier managed an ironic grin. "It was rather amusing, wasn't it?"

Daphne glanced at her watch. "Oh, dear, I really do have to leave. I'll have Niles bring Freddy back when he gets home."

"I've got to get going, too," Roz added. "I've got this hot date tonight, and I need to get ready. I'll call you tomorrow, Lilith."

Frasier rolled his eyes. "The three of you as friends--I never thought I would see the day."

"Neither did I," Daphne replied, "but it's worked out rather well. Bye, Lilith!"

"Goodbye, Daphne, goodbye, Roz, my sister women," I called. They smiled and waved before closing the door behind them. 

"Sister women?" Frasier asked skeptically. "Lilith, aren't you carrying this a little too far? You're never around, you're always at work or out with Daphne and Roz."

"Does that bother you?" I asked. "If you think I'm being a rude guest, I'll stay here more."

"No, it's not that, it's just--" he plopped down on the sofa beside me, "well, I'm feeling a little left out. You and Roz and Daphne go off to lunch and shop for baby clothes and I don't get to do anything. It is my baby too, you know."

I looked at him in surprise. "I didn't think you wanted to be bothered with it."

Frasier looked hurt. "Lilith, this is our child we're talking about, not some stray dog. If there's anything I can do for it or for you, I'd like to."

"Are you saying you want to spend more time with me?"

"Well, yes. I'd like to be more involved. Like I was when we were expecting Frederick." 

I smiled at him, suddenly feeling shy. "You could rub my back for me. It's been hurting all day."

"Of course." He began to massage my shoulders, and the soreness started to melt away. His fingers felt wonderful.

"Do you remember doing this when Frederick was on the way?" he asked. "You were sore then as well. I had to rub your back every night before we went to sleep."

I laughed. "At least I'm not dragging you up to the woods this time."

"If you do, we're taking Dad's Winnebago. It's not all-natural, and we would still be living off the labors of others, but at least it's heated. I'm not going to try with rocks--"

"Here, feel this," I interrupted, placing his hand on my stomach. 

"Is that…was that a kick? Is that my child?"

I smiled at him. "It's wonderful, isn't it?"

"It certainly is." He put his arm around my shoulders. He was going to kiss me…

The door flung open. "Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!"

So close…

Part Eight--Frasier

I had never been happier to see my brother than when he walked into Café Nervosa the next afternoon. "Niles!" I called to him, a little too loudly. He glanced over to my table, where I was waving frantically, and came over to join me.

"There's something I need to talk to you about," we exclaimed in unison. "You first," Niles added.

"I think I'm falling for Lilith again," I blurted out. "Niles, I think about her all the time! She lives in my house, she's expecting my child, good Lord, I almost kissed her yesterday!"

Niles spit out his coffee. "You almost what?"

"I don't know how it happened! I was telling her I wanted to be more involved with her pregnancy, so she asked me to rub her back, and then she had me feel the baby kick and the next thing I knew, I wanted to kiss her! And I would have, if Freddie hadn't come home at that particular moment."

"Yes, it's a mystery, isn't it?" Niles remarked. "Do you think there's still a possibility of things working out for the two of you?"

"That's it, I don't know!" I exclaimed. "We've had some good times together, OK, a lot of good times, we're parents of two children, there's obviously some physical attraction left between us. And I'm lonely. I've been divorced for seven years, and I haven't had one relationship that's lasted longer than a couple of months. It's been so nice to have Lilith and Freddie with me. I have someone to come home to, and I've missed that."

"I can't tell you what to do, Frasier," Niles said. "You'll have to figure this out for yourself."

I sighed. "I suppose you're right. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"It's about Frederick," my brother began. "He's been spending a lot of time with Daphne and me, and while we love his company, we were wondering if everything was all right between the two of you."

"Well, we have been arguing a lot lately," I commented. "But I just thought that was due to typical teenage rebellion."

"I think it's more than that," Niles said. "His world has been turned upside down, which can't be easy for him. And he's told me that he feels like you're picking on him. Frasier, I'd talk to him if I were you."

"I will, but I don't think there's anything unusual going on," I replied. "There's nothing wrong with Freddie and me."

I came home to find my son lying on the sofa reading a book. "Frederick, what have I told you about shoes on the furniture?" 

Freddie sighed and threw his shoes on the floor. "There. Happy?"

"Frederick, that's no way to speak to your father," I lectured. "I hope you don't talk to your mother that way."

"Will you shut up?" my son yelled at me. He had stood up, and was glaring at me, his body trembling with anger. "All you ever do is pick on me!"

"Frederick, I'm just being a good parent," I protested. "You'll thank me when--"

"When I'm older, right?" Freddie interrupted. "Well, you're wrong. I won't. And you're not a good parent. The truth is, you suck. Dad, there's more to being a father than criticizing me all the time. Mom would have told me to take off my shoes as well, but she does a lot of other stuff too. She helps me with my homework. She comes to my chess club tournaments. She knows how to be a parent. You don't."

This was what Niles had been talking about. He was right, there was something wrong between my son and me. And I knew that to straighten this out, I'd have to be more than a psychiatrist. I'd have to be a father.

"Frederick, I'm sorry," I apologized. "I know things haven't been easy for you, and I'm afraid I haven't helped much."

Freddie looked surprised at this unexpected apology, and his face began to lose some of its anger. "It's alright, Dad," my son assured me. "I know you're not used to being a parent. I mean, you and Mom split up so long ago, and you've always been like a visiting friend who comes for a week and buys me things."

"I'm sorry, Frederick," I said again. "I want you to know how proud I am of you, and how much I love you."

Freddie squirmed in embarrassment, but looked pleased at the same time. "It's not so bad here, Dad. I like my school, and it's nice seeing you and Grandpa and Uncle Niles all the time."

"Yes, I've enjoyed it too," I agreed. "It's been so nice having you and your mother here with me."

"Dad?" my son asked, a curious expression on his face. "Do you still love Mom?"

Let no one say that our children are blind to the affections (or lack thereof) of their parents. Under normal circumstances I would have denied it, or chosen to believe that my son was attempting to manipulate me for a minibike or a larger allowance. However, this time, Frederick was right on the money.

I didn't want to know what to do. On one hand, I didn't believe in lying to my son, especially after how I had treated him for the last few months. On the other, Frederick would be put in an extremely awkward situation if I told him the truth, as well as possibly strain things between Lilith and myself. I was not even completely certain of my feelings. It would be best for all three of us if I sorted them out completely before acting on them. 

Frederick was still staring at me, waiting for a reply. An answer, I needed an answer. Thank heavens for psychological jargon.

"You see, Frederick, love is a complex psychological and physiological process, and many factors must be weighed and taken into account…"

Part Nine--Lilith

I had to do something about Frasier and his father. Martin hadn't come over once since he moved out, and although Frasier never mentioned it, I knew he missed his father. He used to get sad and quiet like this when we were married; when he was missing a parent. Especially his mother.

Frasier and I had only been dating for a few weeks when he got a call from his brother saying that Hester was ill, and he should come to Seattle as soon as possible. Frasier immediately booked the next flight, but it didn't leave until morning. That night, I held him in my arms, trying to comfort him and wishing I knew what to say. He didn't cry, but his eyes were so full of fear and anguish that it tore right through me. I loved him so much, and I hated to see him hurt like this.

I went with him to the airport the next morning, and he kissed me goodbye. But it was like he was in a daze. He walked like a zombie onto the plane, and I almost started crying myself to see my strong, handsome Frasier so vulnerable and helpless.

He was in Seattle for two and a half weeks, then woke me up at three am one night to tell me Hester had died.

"She wasn't…in any pain," he told me. "Dad was in there with her, Niles and I were outside…" His voice broke and I could hear him crying. "She's gone, Lilith! What am I going to do without her?"

I wanted so much to be able to hold him and tell him it would be all right. I didn't know how to tell him how sorry I was, and how much his loss hurt me as well. Everything I had learned in college and medical school about death and loss seemed like hollow, uncaring theories. I offered to fly out to Seattle to be with him, but he said that the funeral would be held the next day, and he had already made reservations to fly back immediately afterwards.

When I met him at the airport, he looked even worse than he had when he left. He hugged me fiercely, not as a lover reunited with his beloved, but as a scared, lost child desperate for comfort and protection. We went home, and I held him again all night, and this time he did cry.

He was quiet for the next few weeks: a shell of his former self. He was so sad, and nothing I said or did seemed to comfort him. I tried to be strong for him, but one night I broke down and cried about how much it hurt me to see him like this and how helpless I felt. Frasier took me in his arms, stroked my hair, and thanked me for all the support I had given him and said he couldn't have made it without me. He was the old Frasier again, and we made love that night for the first time since it all began.

Frasier was fine after that. The worst was over. But he would still wear that sad, lost look once in awhile, when he missed his mother and especially after he fought with his father. He would yell at Martin over the phone, slam down the receiver, and then be depressed for the next few days. He told me once that since his mother was dead, when he fought with his father, he felt like an orphan and it frightened him.

He tries to hide it from me now, but I can tell he misses his father more than he'll admit. The little things are what give it away--the lack of bounce in his step, a wistful look in his eyes, things you would have to know him so well to notice.

I couldn't let him hurt like this on account of me. I had, to some degree, been responsible for this rift between father and son, therefore, I should be the one to make things right.

It sounded simple enough in theory, but ringing Niles and Daphne's doorbell and asking to speak to Martin was far more difficult than I thought it would be. I chose a day when Niles and Daphne took Frederick to the movies, crossed my fingers as I rang the doorbell--scolding myself for such a superstitious gesture--and hoped for the best.

"I'm coming," I could hear Martin call through the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Lilith. Can I come in?"

I heard an "Aw, jeez," followed by a string of colorful words. Martin opened the door with a large--obviously fake--smile plastered to his face. "Hi Lilith! Freddie's still at the movies, so why don't you come back later?"

"I didn't come for Frederick," I replied. "I wanted to talk to you."

"To me? Whadda ya want to talk to me about?"

"Can I come in and explain?" I waited for his reaction. Martin didn't look too thrilled, but he opened the door wider and let me come in. "Thank you. Shall we sit down at the table?"

"Aw, jeez," Martin complained, but sat down across from me. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "Martin, I know you and I have never gotten along well, and a lot of that is probably due to the fact that I never tried very hard to get to know you. I know I've said some things in the past to you that weren't exactly nice, and I'm sorry. I'd like for us to be better friends--"

"Listen, Lilith, I don't really know--"

"If not for me, then for Frasier!" I exclaimed. "He misses you, Martin. A lot. If you don't want to do it for me, then for God's sake, do it for your son! I hate seeing him depressed like this. It reminds me of how sad he was when his mother died."

Martin sat there in silence. I couldn't tell what he was thinking until he spoke. "He really misses me, huh?"

I nodded. "Very much, Martin. You know, my father walked out when I was a little girl. I've always envied Frasier the fact that you were around to see him grow up."

Martin didn't say anything, or even look at me. I made an excuse about having to get to the lab and left.

Part Ten--Frederick

I hate the woods. Something's always biting me or stinging me or causing my skin to break out into hives. When I was younger, about a year after Dad moved to Seattle, Mom sent me to this chess camp in the mountains. The chess part was great. The nature walk every day wasn't. I had to wear one of those bonnets with a net on it, and the other kids teased me endlessly about it. It helped that I could beat them all in chess, but I still loathed those hikes.

I wasn't crazy about nature then, and I'm still not. Today, when Dad tried to teach me to fish, the hook stabbed my thumb twice, I got worm guts all over my hands, and the mosquitoes bit my face so much it looks like I have chicken pox. Dad didn't have much luck either. He forgot to put on sunscreen before we came out, and his face burned pretty badly. He's inside with Mom right now, having her take care of it.

This trip wasn't my idea, or Dad's either. Actually, it was Uncle Niles who suggested it. He and Daphne wanted a family get-together over the weekend at his cabin, and they invited my parents and me to come along. Dad wasn't sure, since the baby will be coming soon, but Mom insisted that her due date wasn't for another two weeks, and there were plenty of hospitals nearby just in case. She seemed excited about the idea of a family get-together, so Dad gave in and said sure, we'll go.

So here we are at Uncle Niles' cabin. My parents and I are the only ones here. Uncle Niles called shortly after we got here, and said that Billy had come down with an ear infection and they wouldn't be able to make it. Grandpa had plans with his friend Duke, so he couldn't come either.

I sat back in my chair, trying to read my book by the fading light. I could hear my parents talking as they did the dishes inside. They were laughing and joking, and from the sound of it, having a great time.

"Frasier!" Mom scolded him. "We'll never get these dishes done if we keep laughing like this!"

"This is just like Niles, to have a cabin with a fax machine and cable TV, but no dishwasher!" Dad exclaimed. "I can't believe he backed out on this trip. He probably got reservations at Le Cigar Volont, and that's why he's not here."

"Still, it hasn't been a bad trip," Mom pointed out. "I've had a wonderful time."

"Me too. I'm glad we came."

There was a pause. "Frasier, do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we hadn't divorced?"

"I do, yes," Dad admitted. "I try not to think about it, though. I've had the most marvelous six months with you and Frederick, and I don't want to ruin things by bringing back old ghosts."

Mom's voice changed. "I see." A long silence. "The dishes are finished."

"Lilith, wait!" Dad called as he left after her.

It was getting too dark to read, and the bugs were out in full force. I went inside, to find Dad sitting on the couch and Mom nowhere in sight.

"Hello, Frederick," Dad greeted me. "You're almost done with that book, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah," I answered. "I've got about twenty pages to go. Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Frederick," he answered. I sat down next to him. "What's on your mind?"

"Do Mom and I have to go back to Boston?" I blurted out. "I love my school, and she loves her job. We wouldn't even have to stay with you, we could find an apartment somewhere. I want to see you more than twice a year. And I want my brother or sister to know their father."

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "I'd love to have you and your mother stay in Seattle. But it isn't my decision to make."

"But Mom wants to stay too," I argued. "She told me so. She just doesn't know how to ask you."

"Frederick, I've heard this before," Dad said, looking at me sternly. "The last time, you were trying for a minibike, I believe."

"All right, fine. I didn't exactly ask Mom," I admitted. "But I know she wants to stay. She never talks about Boston anymore. It's always about you or the baby or her job or Roz and Daphne. I want to stay, and I know she does too, and if you'll ask her, I'll bet she'll say yes."

Dad thought about this for a moment. "Frederick, will you go find your mother and tell her I want to talk to her?"

"Sure, Dad!" I bounded up the stairs and ran down the hall to Mom's room. I knocked on the door. "Mom, it's me."

She opened the door and let me in. "Hello, Frederick. What do you need?"

"Dad wants to talk to you," I told her. "He's in the living room."

"Thank you, Frederick," she said, touching my shoulder lightly before leaving. I sat down at her desk, switched on the lamp, and began to read.

Part Eleven--Frasier

"You wanted to talk to me?" Lilith stood at the bottom of the stairs, her hair down, and looking so enticing I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yes, I did," I answered. She sat down on the other end of the couch and looked at me expectantly. "I'm sorry about earlier. I should have phrased that better. Actually, I wasn't completely honest with you."

She looked at me curiously. "Oh? How so?"

"I do wonder what might have happened with us," I began. "I think about it every day. I come home to you and Frederick and it's like the divorce never happened. And I wonder if I wasted seven years of my life by now working things out with you."

Lilith moved closer. "I've missed you so much, Frasier. No one could ever take your place."

I kissed her. Or she kissed me. It was one of those kisses where you don't know who began it, and you don't care. No woman had ever kissed me like Lilith, had been able to stir up all the feelings in me that she did. No other woman had ever excited me like this, had made me feel like there was no one in the world but the two of us in our own private paradise. Time had rolled back, past my move to Seattle, past our divorce, past the affair…

The affair. I broke away and stood up, aware of Lilith's puzzled gaze. I couldn't look her in the face.

"Frasier, what is it?" she asked, looking confused and hurt.

"Lilith, I'm sorry. I don't think this is a good idea. Too much has happened, getting back together wouldn't work out."

"Frasier, what is it?" she insisted. "The least you can do is explain."

"It was the affair," I blurted out. "I know it happened ages ago, but Lilith, I had never felt so betrayed in my entire life! How can I just forget that?"

Lilith looked down. "I don't know how to explain what I did. I don't even know why I did it. It was the biggest mistake of my life, and if I could change it, I would."

"Well, we can't change it, can we? I'm sorry, Lilith." I moved away. "I think I'll go to bed now."

The rest of the weekend was awkward and strained, and all three of us were relieved when Sunday afternoon came, and it was time to go home. I went to see Niles as soon as I got back. I desperately needed to talk to him about this.

However, Niles and Daphne had taken Billy to a pediatrician when I got to the Montana, and Dad was the only one at home. He greeted me enthusiastically, for Dad, and offered me a beer.

"So how was the big weekend?" he asked. "Did you have a good time?"

"Well, yes and no," I admitted. "Lilith and I talked about reconciling."

I braced myself for a shriek of "WHAT???" Dad surprised me with a curious "Well, did you?"

"No," I answered. "She wanted to, I wanted to, but I don't think it would have worked out."

"Why not?" Dad asked. "You two have seemed so happy lately."

"It's the affair. I can't get it out of my mind! How can I ever be truly happy with her wondering if it will ever happen again?"

"Fraise, if you remember, your mother cheated on me," Dad said quietly. "We worked through it, and we had a lot of happy years together. I've always been glad I didn't throw those away."

"Are you saying I should try again with Lilith?" I asked incredulously. "I thought you hated her!"

"I know I've said a lot of things about her in the past, and I wish I hadn't," Dad told me. "And if you want my opinion, she's a decent person who made a mistake."

"Dad, I never knew you felt that way about Lilith."

"Frasier, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I never gave her a real chance. I know she loves you, and that's enough for me."

I thought about my father's words on the way back to my apartment. Lilith was there when I got back, sitting at the table doing some paperwork for her job.

"Frederick went to the movies with a friend from school," she told me. "He'll be back this evening."

I pulled out a chair and sat down by her. "Lilith, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and--"

"You think it would be best if I went back to Boston after the baby comes?" she interrupted. "I'll go. You don't have to feel guilty about it."

"I want you to stay," I corrected her. "I want to work things out. I want to give our marriage another try."

Lilith looked astonished. "You do? You really do?"

I nodded. "I don't want to lose you again."

She threw her arms around me. "Frasier, you don't know how long I've dreamed of this happening."

I rested my cheek against her hair, reveling in the unreal situation of having her in my arms again. "I love you, Lilith. I've always loved you."

"I love you too, Frasier," she replied. "I never--" She broke away with a peculiar look on her face.

"You aren't having second thoughts, are you?" I asked with dismay.

"No, it's not that. It's just," she looked at me. "Frasier, I think the baby's coming."

Part Twelve—Frederick

Mark's dad dropped me off at home. I let myself in, and to my surprise, Uncle Niles was waiting for me. He said that Mom was having the baby, and he would take me to the hospital right away.

We got there twenty minutes later. This was it. I would no longer be an only child. For the rest of my life, I would be Frederick Crane, so-and-so's big brother.

"How are you feeling, Frederick?" Uncle Niles asked. "Are you excited about having a baby brother or sister?"

"A little," I admitted. "It's going to be different, though."

"You're going to be a wonderful brother." Uncle Niles hugged me.

I was embarrassed, but mostly pleased. "Thanks, Uncle Niles."

Daphne was waiting for us when we got to the maternity floor. "You've got a beautiful little sister," she told me. "And your mother is just fine."

She led us to a room down the hall. Grandpa was sitting by the bed talking to my parents. Dad was sitting by Mom on the bed, gazing at the bundle she was holding.

"Frederick!" he exclaimed as I came into the room. He took the baby from Mom and brought it over to me. "I'd like you to meet your sister."

He put the baby in my arms, and I stared down at her. She was so tiny. She had a few dark wisps of hair on her head, and her eyes were a brilliant blue, like Dad's and mine. "Hi," I said quietly. "I'm your brother."

Mom smiled at me. "We still haven't come up with a name yet."

"What about Candace?" Dad asked. "It's an elegant name."

"Frasier, do you want our daughter to go through life with the nickname Candy Crane?" Mom asked. Her words were scolding, but she was smiling at Dad. He was sitting on the bed with her again, his arm around her shoulders. Something was going on, and it was more than a new baby.

"Well, how about Laura?" Grandpa suggested. "That would have been Frasier's name if he had been a girl."

My parents looked thoughtful. "It's a beautiful name," Mom commented. "What do you think, Frasier?"

"It's perfect," Dad agreed. "Lilith, shall we tell everyone our news now?"

Mom smiled at him. "Tell them, Jelly-Bear."

Jelly-bear? Where did that come from?

"Lilith and I are going get remarried," Dad announced. "Sometime next week. We'd like all of you to be there."

"Oh, that's great!" Grandpa exclaimed. He shook hands with Dad and kissed Mom's cheek. "Welcome to the family, Lilith."

There was a lot more congratulating and well wishes by Uncle Niles and Daphne, and Uncle Niles went out for champagne. He came back with a bottle from his pantry, which he said he had been saving for a special occasion. Dad poured it into some plastic cups he found by the sink, and passed them around. Even I was allowed to have some.  
Grandpa held up his cup, being careful not to disturb Laura, who was sleeping in his arms. "To Frasier and Lilith, may they have a long and happy marriage."

"And to little Laura," Daphne added. "A new source of joy to the Crane family."

"One more," Dad announced. "To my son, Frederick, who has been nothing but happiness to his mother and me since he was born."

"Aww, Dad." I hugged him.

My aunt and uncle exchanged a look. "We'd better get going," Daphne began. "I don't know how long the sitter can stay with Billy."

"Yeah, I'd better take off too," Grandpa agreed. He handed Laura back to Mom. "I'm going to go down to McGintys and tell the guys about my new granddaughter. Maybe even buy everyone a few rounds."

"We'll be back tomorrow," Uncle Niles promised. He left with Daphne and Grandpa, and the four members of the Sternin-Crane family were left alone.

"What do you think, Freddie?" Dad asked me. "We're sorry we didn't tell you before. Your mother and I reconciled just this afternoon, and immediately afterwards, the baby came. We hope you're happy about this."

"I am happy," I confessed. "I've wanted us to be a family for a long time."

"I'll need your help tonight," Dad told me. When we go home, we'll need to move your mother's things into my room. I'm also counting on you to help convert her room into a nursery for Laura."

Mom looked amused. "Frasier, darling, are you sure you're capable of that?"

Dad shrugged. "Probably not. But I'd like to give it a shot myself before we call in the decorators."

Mom took his hand. "Very well, my steed."

My steed?

"So are you going on a honeymoon?" I asked. 

"Eventually, yes," Mom answered. "We want to wait awhile, though. Until Laura's older."

"She sure is cute," I commented, touching the baby's cheek with my finger."

"She looks just like her mother," Dad commented.

"With her father's eyes," Mom added. She and Dad kissed. I looked away, but smiled to myself.

We were going to be a real family. Whatever went wrong the first time had obviously been worked out. For some strange reason, I felt more…complete. Like I'd found something I hadn't known was missing. And from the way my parents were looking at each other, I guessed that they had too.

Part Thirteen--Lilith

I woke up early, too excited to sleep any longer. I was going home today. Within a few hours, Frasier and Frederick would be coming to get Laura and me. The four of us were going to be a real family, starting today.

I got up and put on one of my pre-pregnancy skirts and blouses. The skirt was a little snug, but not too much so. I hadn't gained that much weight during my pregnancy, and Laura had consisted of seven of those pounds. I was confident I could lose that remaining weight within the next month.

The room was filled with cards and flowers and baby toys. Almost everyone I knew had sent something, my colleagues at the lab, all of Frasier's family, even our friends back in Boston. Rebecca Howe had sent a stuffed bear for Larua, and a lovely card congratulating Frasier on me, on the new baby and our reconciliation.

Things had changed so fast. This time last week, I had been scared and unsure of the future. Now I had my Frasier back, our son, who was thrilled about it, and a beautiful baby girl. I felt like the luckies woman alive. How could anyone be richer than I was?

"There's my little lamb-chop!" Frasier interrupted my thoughts when he came in and took me in his arms. "Ready to go home?"

I kissed him. "Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?" I whispered. 

"Mom? Dad?" We were interrupted by Frederick, who was standing in the doorway. "The nurse went to get Laura. She said we can go when she gets back."

Frasier kissed my forehead. "I'll go bring the car around."

He left, and shortly after, the nurse brought Laura out. I took the baby, Fredereick gathered up the cards and toys, and we went down to meet Frasier.

I felt strangely excited during the drive home. I had been to   
Frasier's apartment hundreds of times, I'd lived there for the past six months, but it had always been that: Frasier's home, not mine. It was more than an apartment now. Frasier and I would begin our life again here, raise our children, grow old together. I watched the numbers tick off in the elevator, counting down to our future.

"Freddie, take the baby, will you?" Frasier's voice interruped my thoughts. I handed Laura to her brother, and to my surprise, was lifted up in Frasier's strong arms. "I wanted to carry you over the threshold," he explained, kissing me.

He had to put me down to unlock the door, but then he picked me up again and carried me inside. My mind flashed back to the day so long ago, when Frasier brought me home after the psychology debate for our first night together. The night I gave up my apartment and moved in with Frasier. When we came home from Cheers after Frasier proposed to me n front of the entire bar. Our wedding day, when we officially began our life together. And that day we brought Frederick home, knowing that our lives would be so different, so wonderful, changed forever in the most marvelous way.

Frasier set me down, and I put my arm around his waist, wanting to stay close to him. Frederick glanced at us and went to put Laura down in her crib.

I glanced around the apartment. Something was different. There were new photographs on the mantle, of Frasier and me when we lived in Boston. There were photos from our wedding, and about every other occasion we shared during our marriage. I looked at Frasier in surprise.

"I called my buddies from Cheers and asked them to send photos," he explained. "I figured our home needed some."

He sat down on the couch and I crawled into his arms, resting my head on his chest as he stroked my hair. "I love you, Frasier," I whispered. 

"I love you, Lilith," he whispered back.

I smiled and closed my eyes, breathing in the faint scent of Frasier's cologne. After so long, I was finally home.

Part Fourteen--Frasier, Frederick, Lilith

Frasier

Lilith and I were remarried a week after we brought Laura home from the hospital. It was a small ceremony, with just family and a few close friends present. Niles was my best man, Roz and Daphne were bridesmaids, and Dad, to my surprise, ahd volunteered to give the bride away.

We had had a close call a few days before, when Lilith resigned herself to calling her mother to inform her of Laura's birth and our upcoming nuptuals. Betty threatened to come visit us in Seattle, but changed her mind in disgust when she learned that Lilith and I were to be wed again. Thank heavens. Betty cannot stand me, and although I shouldn't be saying this about my mother-in-law, I feel about as much affection for her as a mouse does for the snake who devours it for dinner.

My efforts to make a nursery were, of course, a dismal failure. Just as well, for after a few nights trudging back and forth across the apartment whenever Laura cried, Lilith and I came to the conclusion that it would be much easier to have Frederick move into Daphne's old room, and have Laura next to us. Fortunately, Frederick didn't protest, on the condition that he be allowed to have his room redecorated as well. We've had a few decorators in, but none that we both liked. However, Norm Peterson will be visiting--All right, I'm paying to fly him out here!--next week, and will help us out with the process.

Laura is six months old now, and a happy, healthy baby. I don't think she cries as much as Frederick did, although Lilith insists that this has more to do with my faulty memory than with Laura herself. In any case, Laura is a delightful baby. I spend a lot of time with her, since I, as Niles loves to remind me, only work three hours a day. Lilith has returned to work, but cut her hours back so she can come home early to watch the baby while I go into the studio. And of course, there is no shortage of relatives eager to babysit. Niles and Daphne are always more than happy to watch Laura for an evening while Lilith and I go out. Dad adores his granddaughter, and is over so much, you'd think he still lived here.

Frederick is flourishing. He's at the top of his class at Brice Academy, and recently won the lead role in the drama club's musical. He's been talking about applying to Harvard when the time comes to put in college applications. Taking after his old man, I suppose. He's been a huge help with the baby. He adores Laura, and she in turn is crazy about him. I couldn't possibly be prouder of him than I already am.

And then there's Lilith. Every day I wake up to see her lying beside me, her dark hair spread out on the pillow and her shoulders rising and falling ever so slightly as she breathes. Every morning I am torn between taking her in my arms and waking her, or lying there next to her, watching her sleep and thinking how lucky I am to have her, looking forward to spending every morning of my life like this. Dad was right: I would have regretted throwing this away. The last six months have been the best of my life, and it still scares me to think how close I came to giving them up.

My wife stirs and opens her eyes, smiling drowsily across the bed at me. She comes over and lays her head on my chest, her hair soft against my cheek. You're a lucky man, Frasier Crane, I tell myself. And I know that everything that's happened, good and bad, has been worth it just to be here for this moment.

Frederick

__

Dear Jason,

I'm sure you've heard by now that I won't be returning to Boston. My parents reconciled just before the baby was born, and got remarried. So we're staying in Seattle. Dad doesn't want to move away from his family, Mom likes her lab job, and although I miss you and all my other friends in Boston, I love my new school, and having my family close by.

Laura's a pretty baby, and I'm not just saying that because she's my sister. I look like my dad, but she seems to take after both my, or I should say, our parents.

I broke away from my letter, knowing that although Jason was my best friend, he wouldn't find my sister's shoe size and feeding schedule as fascinating as I did. I never thought that I would have a little sister, or that I would be this crazy about her.

I reached for my math book, which had been sitting unopened on my desk all evening. My final was the next day, and although I had a solid A, I wasn't quite clear on some of the trigonometric formulas. At least it would be over in twenty-four hours, and I would be free for the entire summer.

As soon as I finished school, my parents and sister and I would be flying out to Boston to see old friends and tie up loose ends. Mom still had to sell our house and officially quit her job, and I had to be unenrolled from Marbury. My parents groaned when I brought that up a few weeks ago. Apparently they went to a lot of trouble to get me in in the first place. I don't know exactly what happened, but Uncle Niles has promised to tell me when I see him tomorrow.

He and Aunt Daphne are coming to Boston with us, leaving Billy with Grandpa. The six of us are going to spend two weeks in Boston, before my parents fly off to Europe for their honeymoon and Laura and I return to Seattle with my aunt and uncle. We'll be living at the Montana for the next three weeks, until Mom and Dad come back. 

I put aside my math book and headed down the hall to see Laura before I went to bed. My parents were already there, peering into the crib in the semidarkness. Dad had his arm around Mom's shoulders, and they were talking in low voices. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they were both laughing, and every once in awhile, Dad would say something that made Mom blush and playfully hit him on the chest.

"Oh, Frederick!" Now Dad looked embarassed. "Come to say goodnight?"

"Uh, yeah." I came over and stood by the crib, watching Laura sleep. Her tiny hand curled around my finger, but her eyes remained closed. "Sleep tight," I whispered.

My parents smiled at me. I said goodnight to them and went to bed, leaving them alone with Laura.

Lilith

Boston was delightful. There were so many friends and colleagues to visit. They were all enthralled by Laura, although some were surprised to see her. I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant before I left so suddenly for Seattle, and although I had tried to contact everyone later on, I had apparently missed a few people.

After two lovely weeks, Niles and Daphne returned to Seattle with Laura and Frederick, while Frasier and I flew to France for the start of our honeymoon. It was difficult leaving the children, especially Laura. Frasier and I hadn't been away from her for longer than a day since she was born, and now we wold be spending the next three weeks halfway across the world. Frasier tried to comfort me during the flight, but when the plane landed, he raced to the nearest pay phone to call home. Daphne reported that both children were fine, and Laura was sleeping like an angel. Frasier and I felt better after hearing this, and spent a wonderful ten days in Paris.

We went to the Louvre, and to see the Impressionist paintings at the Musee D'Orsay. We went to the top of the Eifel Tower at sunset, and had coffee and croissants at a cafe at midnight. One night, by Notre Dame, we had a local artist sketch us in front of the cathedral. The drawing turned out rather well, and Frasier gave the artist such a big tip I thought the poor man would die of shock.

I pride myself on my hard-headed practicality, but deep down, I have to admit that I'm a romantic. And what could be more romantic than a honeymoon in Paris? Strolling hand-in-hand along the Seine at night, with the lights of the city twinkling above us as boats filled with tourists chugged up the river: What more could I want?

After reluctantly leaving Paris, Frasier and I went to Switzerland for another ten days. Frasier was out on the ski slopes every day. He tried to give me lessons, but I was hopelessly uncoordinated. One ski would slide to the left, the other to the right, and I would fall back into a pile of snow.

When I got too sore to try again that day, I would stand down at the bottom of the hill and watch Frasier gracefully ski down. He wasn't much of an athlete in other areas, but he sure could ski.

Evenings we spent in front of a blazing fire, playing board games or talking or spending the time in other pleasant ways. Although I missed Frederick and Laura and everyone else back in Seattle, I was sorry to leave Switzerland when the time came. Frasier promised that we would come back someday, and bring the children.

So here we are, on a flight back to Seattle. Frasier is asleep beside me, looking especially tanned from the Swiss sun. Several women in the airport were staring at him, but when I mentioned it to him, he took my hand and said that he had eyes for only me. When he said that, I couldn't help smiling, and feeling sorry for those poor women who didn't have a Frasier of their own. 

I put my hand over his, and he smiles in his sleep. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes, eager to begin dreaming of our future.

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A/N: That's all, folks! I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!


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